Give Up, but Don't Let Go
by ElliMacaroni
Summary: Lovino has been harboring strong feelings for Feliciano, and he miserably waits for the perfect chance to say it. Will he be the one to confess, or would things go otherwise? Find out here.


**A/N: **Last valentine's day prompt before it ends. Ah, I don't know. I feel the love, the bitterness and the happiness of the lovers and the singles alike. Nevertheless, buon san valentino~! Oh, read "Old Habits Never Die as well." That was the first of the two valentine's prompt I did this year.

I think the ending sucked. Did it?

Reviews are sincerely appreciated.

* * *

**Give Up, but Don't Let Go**

* * *

It was one peaceful melancholy night, with the cool breeze gusting through the large windows. The sound of the clock ticking and the distinct labored breathing reverberated across the walls of our bedroom.

It was damn cold, so I grabbed the blankets and covered myself. But soon I found myself turning sideways, then on my back, then sideways, and so on. I couldn't help it but open his eyes. My senses perceived it was pitching black, therefore my thoughts registered that it was still night time. That was when it dawned to me.

I could not sleep. I was restless.

But why was I restless?

I turned to his side, facing Feliciano, whose face is illuminated by the moonlight that majestically stood bright in the night sky. Surely I felt my lips form a gentle smile as I saw the other sleeping soundly – at least he was free of his nightmares for the night.

That smile, that precious smile I have always hidden for years, suddenly faltered as I saw the iron cross on the other's neck. That stupid potato bastard. No, don't get me wrong. I am not jealous, not jealous of that potato wanker. Please don't tell me I am.

Or am I really jealous?

Things only made it worse. I suddenly remembered it was San Valentino. Dio, that helped me a lot tonight, I could get more sleep! Hmm, no wonder I was restless.

Should I tell him or not?

I don't know if I should tell him or not. Honestly, I was first irritated at him. He was always a crybaby, a clingy one for sure, who only loved pasta and pizza and playing calcio and all that. Imagine the hardship I had to deal each day that passed. Mio dio, how I wished nonno was down here and take care of him.

But things changed when he found new friends. Of course that was inevitable – he was always radiating that happy aura that everyone admired about him. Fine, I admit he is a thoughtful and loving person that would always cry and laugh with you. At first, it was fine with me. I just shrugged it off whenever he would ask me to go with those two bastards.

I thought I could last handling this, but soon I became "jealous". Take note of that. Jealous in quotation marks. I'm fine with the Asian-looking friend, but that potato bastard…..dio, how I wished I could mash him or kick his butt and fly him to the other side of the world or to another universe where Feliciano would not see him anymore. How I wished…he was non-existent.

Shit, this could not be. No…but I'm confused. At one point, I was irritated at him. But soon, I realized I could never live without him, as if my life greatly depended on him. I always long for that cordial smile he would beam at me, and how I wished I would only be the one he would cry on when he feels like the whole world has crushed on him. I could not bear the fact that he was hurt, and I am ready to take all the hurt he has if only I can.

But that would never happen, especially with that potato bastard around.

So I stood there, waiting for the perfect chance to tell him that I have these feelings for him, hoping that he would understand these things when I finally "confess" – si, confess in quotation marks - to him. You see, I realized that my love for him was stronger than before, and I could not bear for him anymore to leave my side.

Back to reality, I didn't realize that I was staring at him until across from my periphery I saw the sun rising. Deciding that it would still be too early to wake him up, I stood from the bed and sat in the balcony to watch the sun rise. Til then I was submerged in deep thoughts.

Would he open his heart to me when I tell him?

I mean, come on. I would not take much of his time…I just want to tell him. But what if things change if I tell him? Tell me it would change things for the better, but if it is for the worse – shit, never think of that, Lovino. No.

So there, I still waited for that perfect chance that seemed to never come.

Later this day, I was petting our twin cats when I saw him dressed, ready to leave.

_"Fratello, I'm going out with Ludwig today~!"_

My heart pounded angrily. _"Are you two dating on San Valentino?"_

I swore I have seen Feliciano's cheeks blush red. Damn red like my tomatoes. Shit, am I too late to tell him? Has his feelings developed for the potato bastard?

"_Ah…eh…it's not a date, I guess? Eh, arrivederci fratello~! See you later!"_

Suddenly I had the urge to hold him back and stop him. So at the moment he opened the door…

"_Feliciano?"_

He turned to me, tilting his head as the "vee~" came out of his mouth.

"_Nothing. Take care."_

I want to stop him, tell him how much I waited for this day to finally tell him I would be ecstatic if he was my valentine. But no, he would not agree to it. So I just took the time to see him more as I shrugged and see him close the door behind him.

Realizing I was dateless on san valentine, well I spent it with my beloved tomatoes. In the garden. And I spent it there as my beloved tomato and I watched the sun set.

One of the cats, Feliciano's cat Gino, jumped on me and licked my cheek. That was when it dawned to me that my vision blurred and I felt hot liquid trickling down my slender cheeks. Shit, I should not be crying. I had a date! But no, I wanted Feliciano to be my date, si? So I cried.

Out of desperation, I pretended Gino was Feliciano since he had the same curl sticking out like his owner's, and looked at him with sadness-filled eyes.

* * *

Feliciano came home earlier than expected. He had a bouquet of roses and a large pizza filled with tomatoes and wine to give to his fratello, thinking that he should make it up to him for spending time with Ludwig that afternoon. He was initially surprised earlier when his fratello thought it was a date with him. In reality, he just asked Ludwig to help him buy a good valentine's gift to his fratello, in which Ludwig told him that the best gift would be the one that is closest to his heart.

So when he came back, he was surprised to see his fratello crying while talking to his cat. He listened closely, and this was what he heard.

"_There I was, waiting for a chance, hoping that you'll understand the things I want to tell you as my love went stronger than before. I….I want to see you more and more but you closed your door…you had Ludwig. I know, I closed my door before to you, but I hoped you would try opening up your heart once more…I will not take much of your time, not like the time you spend with him._

_But no…maybe, I should just give up. I guess it's wrong to say please love me too because I know you'll never do. Somebody else is waiting there inside for you, and that is the potato bastard, right? I think it's wrong to love you more each day, because I know he's here to stay…he won't leave you, I know that. But never forget I know to whom you should belong."_

His heart pounded furiously, and he made a dash for his fratello as he hugged him from the back and buried his face on his fratello's shoulder.

"_Fratello, never let me go. Ludwig and I…are just friends…but I….ti amo, fratello. I was just afraid to tell you…I just waited for this day to tell you….I…"_

Lovino was surprised at what Feliciano has just told him. At that moment he could swear he was the happiest one on valentine's day, yet he regretted giving up fast.

_"I...it was not a date...I just went out with Ludwig because I asked help from him about what gift would be ideal to give uou this valentines and I just bought some roses and pizza with tomatoes and wine and we could eat dinner tonight...per favore p, fratello. Dn't get angry at, Feliciano, vee~!"_

Instead of cringing at the mention of Ludwig's name, he took Feliciano by the arm, sat him on his lap, and they cuddled until the darkness bit the sky, with three words echoing along the wind.

_"Ti amo, Feliciano." _


End file.
